At what point he had decided on the bracelet, he wasn’t sure. But it was perfect. Something that years from now, if they met on the street, Justin would still be wearing.
He always thought about the future that way. Justin as a distant memory or worse, a complete stranger. The two of them following in the footsteps of others who’d taken their friendship to the dance and gone home with fame.
JC stared at the black and white photo. It was something this Justin would like, the one who'd given up garish chains and gawdy jewelry. Except for a stud in his ear and a ring or two that came and went, he was down to a good watch. Anything else he wore was carefully calculated, part of the master plan: for an appearance here, an interview there. Usually leather, thick and masculine looking. All of it gone the minute the event was over.
JC tossed the picture aside. Who was he kidding? It had little to do with fashion. The real question was whether Justin would wear the bracelet at all, knowing where it had come from.
He stared out the window into the lengthening shadows of December. If he didn’t make a decision in the next day or so, it would be too late anyway. Justin's birthday might be weeks away, but the artist needed time. To get everything right. The bracelet itself wasn't anything unusual. Silver. Heavy linked. What had drawn JC's attention were the inscriptions. On the outside of the jewelry, not the inside. Like a private conversation meant to be whispered, but shared with the world.
JC picked up the drawing, again taken by its stunning simplicity. It was after all, just an ID bracelet. But for an occasion of this significance, it had to mean something more.
-::-
The event itself was one of those inevitable but far-distant things that never seem to get any closer. Like the Millennium. JC had known it was coming, but he’d also seen 19-something something on every newspaper he’d ever read and on every check he’d ever written, in his entire life.
And then, suddenly, it was here. The year 2000 had come. And he'd struggled awkwardly along with the rest of the world to adjust to the change. Not a huge one. Just numbers, really. But it would take some getting used to.
And in less than thirty days, another milestone was coming. Not for all of mankind, but in this little world? Oh yes. A milestone. On January 31, 2002, Justin Timberlake would be twenty-one.
At eighteen, he’d had a small taste of adulthood, both the bitter and the sweet. He could vote. He could buy beer. Curfews in small town America were a thing of the past. But he’d seen the other side of of it too. He'd been taken to court, reported dead in an accident, and solicited for sex almost every time he turned on his computer. He’d taken most of it in stride, but over the past year, there’d been other changes, subtle ones. Almost as if he could hear the days of childhood ticking away, some kind of irreversible countdown already begun.
JC had tried a couple of times to pinpoint when it had started, like finding a crack in a wall then trying to decide where it had come from. And which way it was headed.
~
They needed to go in a new direction to survive. He’d had no quarrel with the basic concept. The biggest year of their professional lives meant nothing if they didn’t find a way to keep going. That meant the music had to change. And when it came to music, only two of them cared enough to fight about it.
Justin had wanted change. A lot of it. And he didn’t want to wait. They’d had to finish out the tour as is, but the tv special was a battleground. A bloody one. In the end, Justin had gotten everything he'd wanted. New arrangements for every song. A stained-glass version of the album that would help to pave the way for bigger change down the road.
They were both bitter and angry right up to the moment they walked on stage that night. Then the magic had taken over, the same magic they created every time they let the music do the talking. The songs they’d argued about were the most personal. And in the end, the most satisfying.
After the show, JC had been leaning against the wall, talking to his brother when Justin appeared out of nowhere. He’d waited until Tyler walked away and followed JC into his dressing room, closing the door. And then he’d kissed him. Not a clumsy bearhug from Joey or a backslap from Chris. But an intimate, erotic statement of ownership from Justin Timberlake.
When they walked away that night, it was together.
By May they were apart. Farther apart than they had ever been in their lives.
A handful of sheet music had done it. No dangerous handguns or vials of poison. Just some flats and sharps on a random piece of paper. That’s all it took. Because aside from each other, the only thing in the world that mattered to either of them was the music.
JC had tried. To keep an open mind. To not feel betrayed. To choke back the questions about Wade Robson. And about songs he was hearing for the first time that day.
That was the night he'd gone to Chicago. Driven straight to the airport and gotten on a plane without ever talking to Justin at all. And he’d gone to bed alone, sick with confusion.
For six months Justin had lived every day as his friend. And every night as his lover. All the while tightening his grip on a future only he knew existed and loosening the strings that tied him to the past.
And to JC.
-::-
JC looked again at the enclosure. Most of the artist's clients probably chose a passage from the list she'd sent with the drawing, something philosophical or spiritual. JC had meant no offense, but he needed something less ‘Keanu Reeves Meets Richard Gere’. Something more classic.
He thought again about the list of quotations he’d received in yesterday’s mail and had to smile. Not because the sayings themselves were humorous, but because he was picturing Justin, scrunching up his nose while reading “Have patience to wait while your mud settles.”
He didn’t mean to be a difficult client. But JC was sure of one thing: an ancient Chinese philosopher and Justin Randall Timberlake would not make good bedfellows.
But they had. Joshua Chasez and Justin Timberlake had been exquisite lovers. Long-limbed and athletic. Passionate and playful. Generous and demanding. The imagery made JC wince slightly, a kind of eloquent pain flooding his senses. He’d never been with another man, but he was certain that Justin was special, perhaps unique in the way that he laid himself open. Physically. Emotionally. JC had felt such freedom and such absolute surrender that he had been intoxicated by it. The loss had been no less remarkable. And now, months later, he wanted it back, all of it.
JC stared at the passage he had confirmed on the phone. Words that Justin would read when he finally saw the bracelet.
-::-
He'd wanted more than anything to be there when Justin opened it. To see his face. But courage is a fleeting thing and as the date neared, JC began to question himself. And his motives.
If he wanted Justin to accept this merely as an olive branch, a peace offering, then there was no need to be there. Justin would understand.
But if his motives were selfish, if JC wanted more, then he had to be there. And Justin had to know why.
The struggle between his head and his heart lasted three more days. Then on the last possible date, he’d sent it. Before he could change his mind.
-::-
It was just after 9:00. JC stood comfortably with Joey and Kelly, wondering again who half the people in the room were. Some were definitely relatives and neighbors. Others simply looked lost, spouses and friends of friends.
Justin looked radiant. It might seem an odd word to use, but tonight it was exactly right. His eyes were clear and expressive and he laughed easily. His forehead and cheeks were shiny, the thin layer of perspiration courtesy of too many people in too small a room. He wore a soft black sweater and at that moment was pushing at the sleeves just enough to expose his forearm. And a heavy-linked silver bracelet.
Justin turned as JC crossed the room, startling blue eyes following him to the hallway.
Minutes later, Justin pushed open the door to the study. They stood quietly for a minute. Then Justin spoke as if it were the most natural thing in the world to say.
“I love you.”
JC let a small smile crease the corners of his eyes.
“I know.”
“And I’m sorry.”
JC nodded, now letting the smile find his lips.
Justin brightened considerably and then stepped back and straightened the hem of his sweater. When he lifted his chin, he looked all of sixteen.
“I have a present for you, too.”
“Justin, no.”
“I get to do what I want on my birthday.”
With that he cleared his throat and spoke slowly and deliberately.
The absolute wonder on JC's face made Justin into a man again. He kissed JC slowly. Then kissed him again as he tried to speak.
“Wait. Justin. You learned the whole thing? How did you find it?”
Justin shrugged, then smiled.
“I called the library and read it to them over the phone. Lucky I got some Shakespeare geek.”
JC started to laugh. This was the Justin few would ever know. Wonderfully romantic one moment. Painfully honest the next. JC wanted him all to himself. To go somewhere they could be alone. To put the months of pain and need behind them. But it was already too late. Someone was calling his name and Justin nodded toward the door.
“Time to cut the cake. C'mon.”
He pulled the door open and then looked back at JC wistfully.
“So we can start over?”
JC shook his head gently. “No, but we can keep going.”
Justin leaned back and kissed his cheek.
“Okay. Tomorrow. There’s some new stuff I want you to hear.”
JC smiled, but he didn't follow. He needed a moment for himself, to take in everything that had happened. But before he could take a breath, he heard singing, someone starting the birthday song completely off key.
He slipped quietly down the hallway. As he stepped into the kitchen, Justin turned his way. But the room was crowded, so JC just leaned against the doorjamb and mouthed what he’d forgotten to say just minutes before.
Happy Birthday, baby.
Justin winked, then turned back to blow out the dozen or so candles that were still blazing. JC closed his eyes, trying his best to memorize the moment. The words still tasted sweet. The year ahead looked sweet too. Their lives would be different now. And there were things he would have to get used to, that he wanted to get used to.
Like being Justin’s ever-fixed mark. This time for good.